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 Now I'm confused. It sounds like you find this fantasy of "mind control" very erotically appealing, and that you want a partner who can make you feel that it's real. (Even though, I would claim, it will never be; unless you succumb to some mental health problems.) But now you're saying that you hope it doesn't turn into something nonconsensual? Is this anything like the DD submissive women who worry and fret that their husbands are going to give them a frightfully painful spanking, when that's exactly what they're hoping will happen?
 Does she have caring family/friends? Is she depressed? Is she lonely?
 
 If you're suggestive, submissive, dependent, malleable in the hands of someone clever, manipulative and with experience of control techniques as well as being naturally dominant, there may be very little he is unable to make you do and more importantly very little he cannot make you want to do.
 107Charm March 21, 2012 at 1:20 am
 @ksn
 
 It sounds like a fine fantasy, if you both enjoy it. But if you start to confuse it with reality, then I'd suggest that you seek professional help. As I see it, the Taken In Hand lifestyle is not really aimed at women who are so "suggestive, submissive, dependent, and malleable" that they are likely to lose control of their own minds and imagine that the man is controlling them via his psychic brainwaves or whatever. This is a relationship style based on consent, and the ability to consent requires that your full mental faculties -- especially including your own personal autonomy -- remain fully intact.
 I think both men and women are afraid of ending up alone. Its human nature to want to be bond with another human being. Human beings want to reproduce and care for their offspring which is ideally done in a committed and loving relationship.
 
 That's good; it's fun; it's risky, edge play in a sense, much more than the risk someone might hit you too hard.
 I hope shes a least honest with the guy she ends up with. That way he knows his odds.
 
 It's risky if you start to confuse your fantasies with reality, yes. But there is no actual danger from "mind control" because that's just what it is, a fantasy. So the risk of actual "mind control" happening is negligible; whereas the risk that a man could break your bones by hitting you too hard is much more dangerous, because it's real.
 108anonymous March 21, 2012 at 1:30 am
 @ Rum:
 “Second, she does not seem to have any concern (in measurable amounts) about the effects all her hooking around will likely have on any realistically obtainable future husbands well being. ”
 ——–
 Understand that I’m not trying to undermine your concern as a man, I get it.
 However, getting back to her, she hadn’t even considered what it was doing to her own well-being, how could she have thought about what it would do to a future husband?
 She was probably thinking that her future husband would have a similar sexual history that she does, so he wouldn’t care.
 “Everyone’s doing it and the only consequences are STDs and pregnancy, right?”
 
 Not that this absolves her in any way from the mess she’s gotten herself into.
 
 109Anacaona March 21, 2012 at 1:32 am
 I hope shes a least honest with the guy she ends up with. That way he knows his odds.
 
 My hope is different. I hope she understand in the deepness of her heart that a guy giving her a chance is very valuable I think a lot of the stories of the “reformed slut” later cheating and divorcing comes from the fact that deep down she feels the man is a chump the whole “I wouldn’t want to be part of a club that has me as a member” syndrome. So once she stumbles upon that guy she needs to be 100% at peace with what she did and the consequences and appreciate his gesture, YMMV.
 Anacaona´s last [type] ..Redefining Hypergamy: Know the difference between a mistake and error.
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