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 2) Learn to recognize when something is or is not a priority to your spouse and learn what is or is not a priority to you. Compromise and pick your battles accordingly. Not every issue is major and not every argument is something you must win. If it’s serious, treat it as such (respectfully, of course); if it’s not, don’t treat is as if it is. If it’s serious for each of you and you have a serious disagreement about it, get a specific an understanding of whatever you work out as possible. It pays to be pragmatic in this area. Hopefully, you won’t have any deal breakers because you vetted properly.
 
 3) Try to identify what your spouse likes about you and make sure to present that to them as much as you can. This, I think, is where some people get off track by being complacent. Don’t. Your spouse likes certain things about you; make sure they get a regular dose of that. It’s part of the “bargain” they hoped for when they entered the relationship.
 
 4) Don’t just rely on what your spouse says they like, watch how they react. You will be surprised. And it’s never bad to be paying attention to what your spouse is doing.
 
 5) Give your spouse some space. The amount is highly individual and likely different for each of you. However, recognize that your spouse may need a “girls night” or some form of individual interests outside of you. (I’m sure you’re great, I know I am, but it’s possible to get a little too much of me. No really, stop laughing. It is.) If the amount of space needed by you and your spouse are radically different, then you may have special challenges because it will seem like one of you is constantly trying to pull away. If you see this, deal with it upfront and non-emotionally, if possible.
 
 6) Understand that you are a couple. (This is mostly for men; women seem to intuitively get this.) What you do affects your spouse and her standing among her family and peers. Be cognizant that you and your actions reflect on her. You don’t have to be hyper about this; a little can go a long ways. Regardless, issues will come up where he or she may have to deal with family or friends because of you; don’t be a hinderance to them in doing so.
 
 7) While you are couple, respect that you are individuals and different people. Your spouse is under no obligation to always agree with you and it’s okay if they like different things than you do.
 
 8) Understand, be prepared for, and assist with change over time. The person you marry will change. You will change. Your families, jobs, and social structure will change. How are *you* going to deal with that and how are you going to deal with that as a *couple*? (This is part of why relationships require work.)
 
 9) Men and women are different. They are. You may not be able to conceive of why he or she thinks the way they do: deal with it. (This is part of the reason I say to “observe” your spouse. You will feel an inherent desire to filter their actions through your own understanding. Don’t.)
 
 10) Exercise and watch what you eat. Both sexes appreciate in-shape, healthy spouses. Everyone battles weight and health issues as they get older. Do not accelerate things by being lax in exercise and nutrition. You owe it to the other person to maximize the potential that you’ll be around and functionable for as long as possible, particularly if you have children.
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